What's wrong with Rachael?

As I settle in for another sad Saturday evening, I have just finished baking banana muffins and am literally sitting in my bra eating eggs on toast. It’s that time of year when it’s not yet completely winter and inside it can still get a little balmy. Tonight, is one of those nights where my jumper is just a bit too hot and I really don’t want to dirty up another t-shirt. Sitting here in my skin-coloured bra, really is a good look when it’s teamed up with my back, pleather skirt and polka-dot ugg boots. It’s all about balance, right?

Speaking of balance, I’m off the red wines and am back on the G&Ts. Yup, I’m officially old. Gin really is an acquired taste as up until two years ago I thought it was like drinking poison, now I think it’s heaven in a hipster, mason jar. It’s the perfect drink for another date-less Saturday night, when the only thing on TV is the royal wedding. Speaking of which, I have just learnt the most distressing and infuriating fact. Meghan Markle’s first name is actually RACHEL! 

What the fuck? How can I not take offence to this?! Aside from the fact that her real first name is missing the second ‘a’, what’s wrong with the name Rachael? I think Princess Rachael has a rather nice ring to it. In saying that, I was never the girl who dreamed of being a princess. I was the ten-year old that told everyone she was going to be a lawyer. Talk about going around it the long way because it looks like I may get there eventually.

Ten-year old Rachael, however, also thought that she would be married with two kids by the time she was 33. Instead I went on a first ‘girl-date’ today. No, I’m not questioning my sexuality, but a new friendship is not dissimilar to a new relationship. You go through that period of conversation over beverages and meals to find out each other’s story, likes, dislikes, common interests, differences, wants, needs and to see whether or not you mesh. But friendship is a funny thing where you never have to ask; ‘what is this?’ It just is. You don’t have to have that conversation where you agree to be friends. It’s just organic. Then you introduce them to your circle, hope they slot in and share them with your established friends. As I get older, making new friends becomes harder. Because I am in my early thirties without a husband and 2.5 children I don’t have much in common with other women around my age. I can count on one hand how many 30-something single friends I have, so if one positive came from my drunken words last weekend it is that I have connected with another normal, single woman in her 30s. Thanks drunk Rachael (Paxton not Markle, just in case you are wondering). When I meet other normal, intelligent, fun, interesting, single woman it gives me hope that there may not be something majorly wrong with me that I cannot identify. Well, aside from the fact that I am extremely picky.

Additionally, I need help with dating, lots of help. Clearly, I am rubbish at dating, rubbish at tinder-ing and rubbish at identifying when someone is remotely interested in me. Apparently, I can also be quite stand-offish with potential love-interests. This is why a single girl need single girlfriends. We need our own personal coaches and confidants to help us navigate through the messy, complicated and turbulent world of dating. Yes, my married friends have obviously won at this game, but times have changed, the dating world has upped its game and it is brutal out there. I recently lost my go-to single girlfriend. She quit her job, sold all her belongings and moved to the Northern Territory. So that position is currently open and I am taking applications. Obviously, Rachel (Meghan) Markle won’t be applying.   

Paxton out.