Challenge report: in racing and in life

This will somehow sound very similar to another blog I wrote at some stage over the past 12 months. So many events have blurred together and this week I’ve struggled to think straight. I began this blog about 6 days ago as my Challenge Gold Coast report. At the time I was still experiencing disappointment with how I’d ridden the shortened bike course, however within about 20 seconds on Thursday morning I completely forgot that I compete in triathlon all together.

So in regards to Challenge Gold Coast I will keep this short as its importance is minute. Two weeks out I rode the course as it was already becoming notorious. Having done the course on a dry day, the torrential rain that set in a few days before the race bought with it panic about the dangerous decent. About 30km into the ride is a 150-200m climb of 20%. The cause for concern was actually coming back down the climb as there were a couple sharp corners at the bottom of the steep hill, made worse by a relatively narrow road. With athletes likely to be travelling in both directions at the time the pro men and women would be descending there was the potential for it to become a giant slip’n’slide with head-on collisions.

I headed to the Gold Coast in the pouring rain on the Friday afternoon to stay with my wonderful home-stay family from Singapore 70.3 2011. Even though David and Susan are still living overseas, their lovely daughter Lauren is living in their home at Runaway Bay. Saturday morning saw more rain and it looked as though it wasn’t going to give. I did a little spin on Lauren’s windtrainer, a short jog in the rain and a quick swim at Nerang pool before heading to pro briefing. The questions on everyone’s lips was would we be riding ‘the beast’ and when would the call be made about a contingency plan. 5pm that afternoon the decision was made to cut the bike course to the out and back section of Currumbin valley making it only 40km. The swim was to remain 1.9km and the run 21km. I had my pre-race meal and tried to sleep…. Which failed miserably. I heard the hour bell at 9pm, 10pm, 11pm, 12am and 3am. My alarm went off at 4am and I felt like I hadn’t slept at all. More food, coffee and more rain. Driving from Miami to Palm Beach the rain got harder and harder. I decided to ditch my warm up run and half put my wetty on before leaving my car! Thankfully the rain seemed to ease once I made it to transition. 

Renee Baker & I setting up in a damp transition

The water was a fair temperature and the swim course was fairly straight forward. The pro women started 1 minute after the pro men. I knew I had been swimming well (especially in the open water) and was over the moon to still be in the main group when we swam under the bridge (well over the half-way point). Just before we turned right at the southern buoy a large pack of age group men came over us like a tidal wave. This was not only frightening as they didn’t even try to swim around us but no doubt this would have an effect on the bike course and the overall outcome of the pro women’s race. It’s the first time I’ve ever panicked in the swim leg, I honestly thought I was going to drown. Next to me Matilda Raynold’s no longer had her goggles on and our little swim pack was blown apart. I exited just behind Renee Baker and left transition just behind her and Maddy. 

The bike leg was somewhat disappointing for me. Renee and Maddy disappeared up the road, Matilda and Belinda soon passed me and then Christie Sym caught me and we continued to yo-yo a little until she dropped the hammer around the 35km mark. I just wasn’t feeling it on the bike, which is unusual for me as it had previously been my strength.  I came into T2 just behind Christie. I was really hoping to break the 1hr 30min off the bike half marathon and set off on pace at 4:05-4:10pace. The run was quite uneventful. Christie and I ran together until the first turn around where I managed to move away from her a little securing myself in 10^th place. 

The run is an interesting two laps with some technical sections and a little up and over hill on the out and back section. I finished up in 10^th place which was okay given it was my first race back, a very strong pro field and then in retrospect after the events of the week following. I was especially happy to finish smack on 1:30 for the half marathon which was a PB for me in a 70.3 run.

In regards to the race, I must make special mention of Miss Motivate aka Michelle. She kitted me out with the most striking Smashfest Queen tri kit for my return to long course. 

Michelle has been incredibly generous in fitting me out with appropriate swimwear, training gear, socks and race kits. She is passionate about women in sport, making them both feel and look good as well as being an incredible support person to me throughout this year.  I am also grateful for her honesty when I was beating myself up after the race in making me realise some home truths. http://www.missmotivate.com.au/

Finish shoot- pic courtesy of Natalie Dellow

On Tuesday I was kindly offered an entry to compete in the Sunshine Coast Half Marathon by Jason Crowther which was exactly what I needed after Challenge Gold Coast. On Thursday I went out for a 2.5hour ride before doing a quick interview with 7 Sunshine Coast for the half marathon:

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=758436687547101&id=100453416678768

I then headed off Nambour to see my surgeon for a three month review. This was my first appointment since my radio-active iodine treatment in May and I was eager for some good news and hopeful for a step closer to remission. I had a neck ultrasound the week prior and bloods done on Monday. My surgeon asked me ‘has anyone spoken to you about what these ultrasounds show?’ They hadn’t.

A lymph node we had been watching was now a concern. My cancer was acting aggressively. The radio-active iodine doesn’t appear to be working & my thyroglobulin level was rising. More scans & more surgery.

That’s about all I heard. Then; numbness, shock, an elephant siting on my chest & disbelief that my fight continues. I needed a conscious reminder to breathe.

The worst day of the week though was facing 13 patients back to back on Friday. I don’t really remember the day at all. There were waves of devastation intermittently hitting me. I used to think that work was a great distraction but it was the last place I wanted to be. I just wanted to be screaming and breaking anything I could get my hands on….. not so great when touching people all day. Work is no longer a great distraction.

I can still barely put into words exactly how I’m feeling. The Half Marathon was a good focus to have and I quickly organised as much socialisation as I could. Thai and a shared litre of ice-cream with Vanessa Friday night, ride and coffee with Mick Saturday morning followed by a catch up with an old college friend. Then straight to the pool for 3km with Ben, baking and cooking and crashing early. Broken sleep is a horrible side effect from bad medical news. Somehow the subconscious knows that something is up even when you are asleep. 

Sunday morning I got up early to have a proper breakfast before jogging down to Alex Headlands where the half marathon started. Good mate Adam was a pacer for a 1:24. I told him my plan was to run out like I was doing a 10km, hold on as long as possible before a spectacular explosion. I pretty much executed my race plan perfectly!!!! I ran out pretty solid, through the 10km mark in 39:38, held off Adam until about 12km and then stuck with him for about another 1.5-2km when the wall hit. I finished off in 6^th with an official time of 1:26:02 for what my garmin said was 21.2km (4:04/km). I was over the moon with my effort after a horrible week of adversity. 

I painfully jogged home, met Sarah for breaky before heading out for an easy 90 minute ride then realised just how exhausted I was. After a little lie down then I met with some friends for a well-deserved wine.

I have been overwhelmed with messages of love, support and encouragement from around the world. I have an incredible support network that are so generously offering support from all angles; trips to appointments, coffee, wine and ice-cream binges, ears to vent to, shoulders to cry on, home cooked meals and simple messages of thoughts and love. The treatment plan at present is still unclear. My CT yesterday doesn't show any bulky metastasis in my lungs but I now need to go for a PET scan for further investigation. I will revisit my surgeon next week and at this stage surgery is booked for the end of next week. Follow-up treatment is still also an unknown as now the standard treatment is no-longer effective. It is hard to put into words just what I am feeling at present. I'm still numb with shock and outside of my doctors most things people say don't make me feel any better or worse about the situation.  I move through days just existing at present and not really living. One foot in front of the other and one day at a time is about all I can do at present.

Rachie xox

Coral Coast 5150 Race report

I couldn’t believe it. I ran along the sand at what felt like snail’s pace at the end of the four toughest 2.5km laps on the beach at Port Douglas. Jo, Matt, Bonnie and Will from the Sunshine Coast were yelling my name as I doubled checked that I was in fact about to finish in 2^nd….It was confirmed as the commentator called me over the finish line. I anticipated the wooden spoon at this race as it had be a looooonnnnnggggg time since racing a proper professional race in Australia…. Or anywhere for that matter. My long-time rival Sarah Crowley was racing and some faces that I didn’t even recognise as new pros are appearing each week on the Aussie circuit. The field was small; 5 pro women. My lead up had not been ideal. On the 16^th of May I was re-admitted to Royal Brisbane and Women’s Hospital for another round of radio-active iodine. This time I was given 6x the dose I had in October and with that came a week of nausea. I did everything in my power (drugs!) to avoid vomiting as any of my bodily fluid is radioactive and dangerous to others. I felt pretty awful and when I went off coffee knew I wasn’t doing ok. With admission, treatment and spending another morning in a CT/ nuclear scan machine reignites all those awful emotions associated with Cancer and the fact that it seems like it will never be over. Obviously locked in a hospital room for 4 days in isolation and feeling pretty dreadful meant that training was the last thing I was able to do, nor wanted to. I started back training the day after discharge even though I was still feeling pretty ordinary. When an impending race is quickly approaching the pressure to tick sessions off is there. By the weekend I was feeling a lot better but decided to err on the side of caution and cut back on the volume as last time I had this treatment I spent the next month battling sickness. I made sure I was recovering well and getting in the nutrition I need to keep my immune system supported.

Then it was time to pack up the bike and head to beautiful Port Douglas. The weather was warm and a little more humid that home but I don’t mind those types of conditions. Race morning greeted us with near perfect conditions. The swim started 1.5km down the beach and walking down to the start it seemed a lot longer! They relax the wetsuit rules up north as extra protection against the jelly fish….. not much they can do about the crocs though! The ocean was a little choppy but I was more daunted by the distance that seemed far longer than 1.5km! At 7:41am we were off! I had a horrible start and was last into the water and then falling flat on my face when the first wave hit me. Not a great start to the day….. I managed to recover and catch up and pass 4^th by the first buoy and then latch onto the feet of Renee Baker. One girl had made a huge gap on the rest of us very quickly and Sarah was slightly ahead but out wide. The swim is fairly straight forward with a line of buoys parallel to the beach. Nearing the end of the swim I was still sitting on Renee’s feet and I could see one more white ironman buoy and the next was the yellow turning buoy. Sarah turned in for the beach at the white buoy and Renee swam on to the yellow. I popped my head up and asked a young boy on a paddle board ‘which one?!’ and he pointed to the yellow so I swam on with Renee, he did however let Sarah swim on in the wrong direction. I could see another water official paddle over to Sarah and send her back, by this time she was now 100m or so behind us. Renee moved into T1 faster than me but we exited together. Renee passed me pretty quickly and I then waited for Sarah…. And waited. 

At the first turn around point, Sarah was still 40seconds or so down. I was about 2mins down on first place, sitting in 3^rd. By the 20km mark Sarah still hadn’t passed me, but it wasn’t long after she passed me yelling some profanities about the swim mishap! I let her go and continued on at my pace trying to keep as much distance between myself and 5^th place. At the end of the bike I came into T2 in 4^th, pulled on my Mizuno Hitogami’s and set off for the beach. The 4 lap beach run is an easy course to see those ahead and behind you. It’s also tough seeing 1.25km like that! Man I was running slow…. 4:15-4:20pace…. This isn’t going so well. At the end of the first lap I realised that the lead girl wasn’t on the run course which instantly moved me into 3^rd place. At this point Sarah and Renee were running together a minute down the road and Ange about a minute behind me. I found myself focused on trying not to let Ange catch me when I realised I should be thinking about trying to catch the two in front. That changed everything. The second 5km I felt the best I had in the whole race. The wind was getting stronger on the run out and I could see Sarah was struggling having tried to repair the damage down in the swim. She was paying for an epic effort on the bike. I passed her around 6.5km and told her to ‘think about next weekend and just finish for some money’. Oh my gosh- I am in 2^nd! Unfortunately it was too short and too late for me to do anything more and Renee had a cracker of a race taking the win just over a minute in front of me. I was ecstatic with 2^nd! I felt really bad for Sarah, but she is one tough cookie and soldiered on to finish. She gave me two really encouraging things to think about from this weekend: 1) that I stuck to my race plan and it worked and 2) that I can still do this with everything I’m going through and to what extent I can go once this is all over with? Up until her saying that I hadn’t even thought about it.   

For now though, there’s not much on the triathlon scene for a couple of months. I’ve been roped into running the Gold Coast Marathon with my little brother in about 4 weeks which will be interesting! Aside from that I’m playing the waiting game for 3months to see if the radio-active iodine was successful in the treatment of what Cancer remains. Until then, nothing more I can do but get on with it!!!!

Rachie xo

Noumea, Byron Bay and Royal Brisbane and Women's Hospital

So I have just been admitted to Royal Brisbane & Women’s Hospital for my second round of radio-active iodine treatment. Later this afternoon I will be given a capsule of this to hopefully knock my cancer on the head once and for all! Thankfully the only real side-effects of this treatment is some nausea and dryness of the mouth. The only problem is once I have the pill they close the door and I then spend the next four days in isolation as my body is radio-active and quite dangerous to others. They kindly look after my exercise addiction by putting the ward exercise bike in my room. I have also bought a skipping rope with me and have planned a ‘brick session’ of bike/ skipping. I’m actually looking forward to a few days down time as things have been busy in life, training, racing and getting on with things.

My ride for the next 4 days

This time three weeks ago I was waking up in Noumea (New Caledonia), riding through the cycling park there, eating numerous French pastries, enjoying some warm sunshine and getting ready to race! This was my 5^th visit to Noumea and 4^th time there racing Noumea International Triathlon. It’s a fantastic race in its 29^th year and was the last international race I did before I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. I was happy to be invited back and looked forward to seeing how things were progressing with my training and health since racing Dalby in late March. 

The field was small and I suddenly realised how old I am getting (30 in 5weeks!) with my main competition from two young kiwi girls (20 and 21!!!). Knowing full aware of how fast Reubyn could run and Deborah could swim I knew I had my work cut out for me and a ripping bike leg would be key to success. Race morning is a civil start of 8am and as our accommodation was across the road from transition it was a pleasant start to the day. A little after 8am we were off in a manic mass start! The ocean is clear and flat in Noumea and the two lap swim can differ significantly in distance year to year….. last year I swam 18mins and this year 24, even though I know I’m swimming well! I I came out in 2^nd. The bike course is 3 laps and a mix of flat and fast and a couple of notable hills! The first two laps I was putting time into 1^st and distancing myself from third. I will admit however, that I lost a bit of focus on the third lap and caught myself day dreaming a couple of times and didn’t make any headway here, although I doubt it would have affected the overall result. I came off the bike in 2^nd and felt dreadful heading out on to the flat four lap course. By the end of the first lap a blazing Reubyn came past me and I said to ‘you can win this’ knowing that 1^st was only about a minute up the road. I knew the other pro girls were a long, long way behind me so unless I passed out or broke a leg as long as I kept running at my (slow) pace I was going to stay on the podium. I finished about 3minutes behind 1^st and was happy with my overall effort but also humbled by knowing I still have a long way to go in regaining fitness, speed and endurance. The nice thing about doing this Sunday morning race is not heading home until Tuesday morning and having a day to enjoy the beach, relax and hang out with my wingman Shane for a day and a half post-race.

Men and Women's podium Noumea Triathlon

Off the plane and straight back into work and training the next day as it was only just over a week until my next race, Byron Bay Triathlon. Unfortunately the lead up wasn’t as pleasant as hoped. I felt pretty awful until about a day before the race. Fatigued, dizzy, headaches and a huge lack of energy made me feel as though I was regressing in health. A year or two ago I wouldn’t have worried as sometimes we athletes expect that to be the norm. Now, however, after what I’ve been through I can’t but help think of the worst. I packed up my stuff, took Friday off work and headed down to Byron. I felt okay and was being rigid with hydrating (Nuun’s are my lifesaver!) and good nutrition. I was staying with good friends Prue and Chris from the Sunshine Coast in the heart of Byron Bay. Having those friends outside of the sport is exactly what I need in order to keep relaxed pre-race. With the civil start of 12:11pm on Saturday afternoon I didn’t have to set an alarm clock in order to get up before dawn. I had breaky, casually strolled down to register, racked my bike and re-ate breakfast two hours before race start! That’s the only problem with racing at a different time is knowing when/ how much to eat! I stick with a repeat of my normal pre-race breaky two hours before race start! 

Just before race start, chatting with mate Pip Taylor

Down on the beach I went for a quick dip to test out the extremely obvious current! Thankfully the push was from east to west!!! The issue though was where to enter the water in order to not miss the first three buoys which were pretty much straight out to sea from the race start. All the open women took their cue from the boys who left before us, running east up the beach before hitting the surf. It actually wasn’t as bad as I anticipated and once again ended up just behind Sarah Crowley for the entire 1.5km swim (which felt much longer!!). We’ve been racing each other for a number of years now and we can pretty much count on coming out within arm’s reach of each other, this time Sarah just in front of me. I knew Pip and Sarah Deuble would be up the road at this point and was hoping that I’d be able to do enough to move into podium contention over the course of the bike/run. Sarah Crowley is a far stronger cyclist than me, navigated her way around the cars on the open road to move into 2^nd by the turn around and put a solid minute (or more!) into me by that point. 

Coming back into T2 I was just happy to survive the bike course as it’s one of the most dangerous I have ever done, just in negotiating the vehicles on the road. Sarah Deuble was in T2 putting her shoes on as I racked my bike and I exited just behind her. She’s a fantastic runner and soon disappeared up the road. I was instantly annoyed as I thought my run training had been going forward…… however I was pleasantly surprised  see my Garmin telling me 3:50 pace, Sarah D was just running faster! I felt quite good and was on the hunt for Pip as I knew her run training had been marred by a recent leg injury. I was thoroughly disappointed as I finished my first run lap to realise that the run course had been altered and each lap was 400m too short….. meaning I only had 8.4km to catch third and not 10km. I find it difficult to understand why they would alter a course, knowing that in previous years the distance was correct. My old coach, Grant Giles, gave me words of encouragement at the end of each lap that I was closing in on 3^rd. By the last lap I had her in my sights and was really pushing myself to make the pass before my real estate ran out. Around the final bend and I could see her cross the line about 12seconds in front of me. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed because I was gutted to come in just off the podium in 4^th. You can never be certain that another 1.6km would have guaranteed me moving up into 3^rd but having a full 10km there to try would have been nice. The positive is that my run has definitely improved and is coming back to what I was previously capable of, averaging below 3:54 pace for the run. Full credit to my great mate Pip for hanging in there for 3^rd with what she was carrying into the race, and of course to Sarah for the win.

I enjoyed dinner that night with good friends Marc and Ilana and a few cheeky drinks at the Beach Hotel before hitting the bakery on the way home. The next day I had the most amazing swim across the bay with Chris, which unlike the day before, it was calm, clear and absolutely stunning. I had a lovely lunch with very good friends Luke and Lisa before heading home to cram 4.5 days of training and work in before my hospital admission.  

I still haven’t been feeling great but have managed to still get a few solid days of training in as I am planning on racing Coral Coast 5150 in 2 weeks time. Perhaps the enforced rest the next few days will be exactly what the doctor prescribes (pardon the pun!)!!! As far as the cancer goes, after the next few days I will go for nuclear scans and ultrasounds to see where I stand. The downer is the effectiveness of this treatment won’t be known until three months down the track at my oncology review. That’s it with cancer though, just one day to the next and live each one like it’s your last.

Rachie xox

The Mad Month of March

Wow…. 6 weeks ago I had surgery but to me it might as well be 6 months. I had no expectations as to how my recovery should go as I learnt the hard way last year that nothing goes as expected when it comes to cancer.

Surgery was booked for the 12^th of February. My surgeon assured me that what was going to happen was a drop in the ocean compared to the operation I had in July last year and that I would go home shortly after the minor procedure. The night before my surgery I didn’t sleep at all. I got up at 5am to have a feeding frenzy before fasting from 6am. I felt sick from the lack of sleep and potentially overeating. I went to work to occupy myself from hunger and thinking about going back under the knife.  I left work and went straight to Selangor private hospital where I met my parents. In the back of my Festiva was my bike and windtrainer to go home to the parental’s place…. Just in case!

The surgery was extremely straight forward. I was that tired that as soon as I had my pre-med, being equivalent to about 10 glasses of wine at once I was out of it… don’t even remember being taken into the operating theatre. I woke up in recovery about 60 mins later and was grateful to feel a million times better than when I woke up in July. No drain, a small incision over my right clavicle and a single cancerous lymph node had been removed. I was starving and after some food and fluids I went home to my parent’s place which is now come to be known as my recovery retreat. The first day I slept and spent on the couch. The next day I decided to jump on the trainer for an hour…. Couldn’t help myself and pushed myself over my limit and spent the rest of the day horizontal!!! 3 days after my op I headed back to Mooloolaba & went for a run (after another windtrainer session) and a day after that I got in the pool…. And then it was on….

Bribie kindly gave me a free entry for their final sprint race in the 2013/2014 season. 2.5 weeks after my surgery I lined up on the beach at Bribie for a 750/20/5 sprint race! Wow- did that hurt!!!!!! I had a great swim, took the lead before the first round about and finally had a race there without a bike mechanical or crash!! I had a fantastic 5km run off the bike going just under 18:50 & was really happy to win there again. Thanks Vanessa for being my caddy for the day ;) Post-race I got talking to Mel and Matt Hopper and we started talking Mooloolaba tri. At that point I had no intentions of racing but at the back of my mind Bribie was a test to see how I’d recovered and I must admit, each day I’d been checking to see if entries had closed. Matt raised a good point that if I was standing on the sidelines I’d be kicking myself having not entered…. He was right…. So with no pro licence at present and no road bike I put an entry into the open age group category. Well that is after some difficulty scrapping together 3 Olympic distance times to comply with the organisers regardless of them being fully informed of my current situation. Then I went into extreme panic that I wasn’t ready. So the cram training started. I had 10 days to find some Olympic distance form! Oh dear.

Bribie Triathlon race 4 

I’d had some old SIJ issues raise their ugly head the week leading up to Bribie. Unfortunately they got worse before they got better. Each run session was quite ginger and seemed to flare up latent pain. Standing up and walking around all day at work doesn’t help those chronic problems but thankfully some rocktape, my belt and a little treatment from my Physio (Adam McKenzie) and massage therapist (Christie Bassett) by race weekend things were relatively under control. The day before Mooloolaba I did my pre-race training, ate, racked my bike, put my legs up the wall, ate, hydrated and watched copious amounts of trashy TV. I woke up before my alarm clock at 4am- race day was here! I always have a quick shower before breaky on race day (I don’t know why!), coffee and food before walking the 400m over to transition. Oh how I love racing at home. I set up and got out. Mum and dad were at my place by 6:10am, I went for a 10min jog and then we walked to the start line. Earlier in the week the swim had been moved to the canal due to impending swells coming through. This didn’t bother me much as I outside of Bribie I hadn’t done much open water swimming and this made the race start about 200m from my front door. At 6:48 I was off along with about 10 other open age group women. The swim was tough: currents, swimming into the sun, some people reported it to be long and when I saw my time of 23:40 I was disappointed, even though I exited in 3^rd. After the race this proved to be an ok swim as everyone else seemed to be slower than usual. 

The long run to transition was up and over a ramp with 3 right angle corners… later on, once wet, would have cause some carnage. I had a quick T1 and was on the hunt, but also riding scared from Sarah Crowley and her monster biking! Didn’t take long for Sarah to catch me and make her move up the road putting me into 4^th. I moved back into 3^rd place before the turn around. We had perfect conditions on the bike, minimal head wind out and the tail wind started to pick up heading back into town. I caught 2^nd at about the 25km mark and proceeded to put time into her quickly. 

By T2 Sarah had put about a minute into me. Running out I didn’t feel so great. Heading out towards Alex the wind was getting stronger and hotter by the minute. Man, I had forgotten how horrid that Alex hill is during a race. At the final turn around I still had about 2minutes on third and thought that I just needed to maintain the same pace to stay in 2^nd. I was absolutely wrecked when I crossed the finish line. Sarah had put another 2minutes into me on the run and I learnt that an Olympic distance is where my limitations are at. My feet were the biggest concern to me! My brand new, white (UNREAL) Mizuno Hitogami’s (thanks a lot to Trent & Allez Sport) had blood stains all over them. The tops of my feet were shredded and I had blisters under my arches and toes. Mum and dad were at the finish line (mum jumping up and down!) which makes me so happy to have them sharing in my comeback. For many years they’ve been absent from my races and it meant the world to me to have them there.

Above all I was over the moon! Not anywhere near my best performance at Mooloolaba and my run time has a lot to be desired but it was enough on the day. I have never beaten Sarah and I wasn’t expecting to. We’ve been racing one another for some years now and she too has had her own challenges the past year so if anyone was to beat me I’m happy for it to be her.

What I loved has been people’s reaction to me racing and managing to finish up at the pointy end of the field. You’re not doing it right if you’re not shocking people! Yes the past 9months have been the most tumultuous roller coaster ride but this was another small win in the battle.

After the horrible anti-climax of doing Mooloolaba and a few other dramas earlier in the week, I decided getting out of town for the weekend was exactly what I needed and put a late entry into the Dalby triathlon. Dalby is a country town about 250km from Mooloolaba south east. Needless to say they’re facing a horrible drought out there and water is scarce. I booked myself into the caravan park which is conveniently located next to the aquatic center where the swim leg was to be. I raced Dalby tri back in 2008 as my comeback race following a bike crash and clavicle fracture. I really love heading back out west and racing these types of regional races. The community support is amazing and they make do with the facilities that they have. Race start was scheduled early (5:45am) so I’m happy I stayed next door. It was pitch-black riding my bike down the street!!!! The start time ended up being pushed back to around 6am and it was surprisingly cool. They started the open men and women together- all up I think there was only 7 of us. Even at Dalby I still can’t lead a swim out!!!!! Alice (a girl I know from Brissy) towelled me up in the pool but with her taking time in T1 to put socks on I was first out on the bike. This was a race I went to have nothing but fun in. Each time I passed my good mate Mick I called out something ridiculous even though he was seriously focused. The ride is two loops on a rough but flat piece of road heading east from town. I made the joke that it’s actually technical as you are dodging mounds of bitumen, pot holes, corrugations and lose gravel. It’s hard to get a good pace up as it’s a dead piece of road. Coming back in from my first loop I almost collected an elderly lady walking her wheelie bin across the road?! I came off the bike with a very comfortable lead on Alice and took the extra time to put my socks on after destroying my feet at Mooloolaba. The run is (dangerously) on the road that the bike course is so I ran along hoping the cyclists are watching where they’re going. I held 4min pace for the 5km (or the 4.5km really) and took an easy win with only three men finishing in front of me. It was a tone of fun, paid training session and an excuse to get away. The Dalby tri sports and local sponsors should be very proud of the event that they run and I’m sure I’ll be heading back.

Mick and I after winning the Dalby Triathlon

For now it’s time to do some proper training. I am looking to do a race at the end of April and one early May so for the next 5 weeks it’s head down.

As for my health: I saw Dr Allison, my oncologist, at the end of February. I will head back to hospital in Brisbane in May for some further treatment. This will be a high dosage of the radio-active iodine and a 4 day stint in isolation. I may feel a little unwell from it over those days but aside from not being allowed to have babies in the next 12 months, the side effects really are negligent. The other bad news I have had is that my re-implanted parathyroid looks to have not taken. This means indefinite calcium supplementation to maintain (close to) normal levels. A pain in the neck; but a small price to pay to be cancer free. I will then have to wait another 3months before my review to see if THEN my cancer markers are down to 0. At the end of the day so much of this is mental. I’m not sick if I don’t think of myself as unwell.  I do however, now see it important to put myself first rather than keep others happy or sustain toxic relationships just because. For the next year at least, what makes me happy will come first.

Rachie xox

Dad being support crew at Mooloolaba Triathlon

Win some, lose some

What an emotional roller-coaster the last few weeks have been. A massive high and a dreadful low.

The bad news first is that I am lining up for surgery again tomorrow. A few weeks ago I noted a known nodule on the right side of my neck had significantly increased in size to the point of being visually obvious. Long story short, a biopsy of it revealed more papillary carcinoma (cancer). I couldn’t believe that only 6 months on from my surgery in July and I was facing another round. My surgeon said she’s only seen this happen once before.  The most frustrating part of it all is the fact that I feel fantastic. I have been training both hard and consistently and have seen some huge improvements over the past couple of months. I have even drafted a rough race schedule.

A notable mention here to Tanya King my dietician. I first went to see Tanya after a couple of weeks of being really unwell.  I think a combination of compromised immunity and overdoing it was really taking its toll. She has given me some of the most invaluable advice, guidance, support and helped me drop just over 8kg in the past 8weeks whilst staying fit and healthy. I don’t know why I didn’t see her sooner!!!! She was also the one who pushed me to have the nodule investigated- I owe you Tan!

So enough bad news…… After knowing that I’d be facing surgery I threw caution to the wind and entered Bribie Island triathlon at the last minute. Why not? I was feeling the best I had in over two years, not to mention the lightest in about 3! There was nothing stopping me from signing up. I decided to aim high and race Opens in the long course; 1/30/8 even though knowing I wasn’t anywhere near bike or run fit. My swimming had actually been going ok!? My mum couldn’t help herself and came to be my caddy. It was so great to have her there. She kept me relaxed and was so excited about me competing. It’s been 3 years since I’ve raced at Bribie, but a few familiar faces were still getting around. Bribie has always suited me with a current assisted swim. There was about 7 women racing in the opens and I felt that a top 3 would be a more than respectable effort given what I had been through and was in the midst of. I had a fantastic swim coming out just behind Courtney Dutton who is someone I usually don’t compare to in the water. Onto the bike and I found my rhythm quickly taking the lead before the first round about. I was rapidly putting time into the others and felt I had a lot more to give to the race and myself. Bribie is a really technical bike course with multiple round abouts and u-turns within the three loops. Coming out of a u-turn on the second lap my chain came off…. I was seething as my gears had been slipping each time I tried to get out of the saddle. I tried to keep calm and put the chain back on (manually!!) as quickly as possible, regroup and restart. I probably only lost about 20seconds but still maintained a minute lead. I came off the bike over a minute in front of Courtney and was reunited with that jelly legged feeling running into T2…. The 8km ahead looked like it may be ugly! My mum was at the run exit all smiles and cheers. As I ran out my old friend (and run coach) Brian ‘Chapo’ Chapman leant over the barrier and yelled at me ‘she’s back!!!!’ ‘Not quite yet…. Still 8km to go!’ I said.

Vanessa and I at the start line

I couldn’t believe how quickly I felt my legs kick into hard running- my Garmin was reading 3:45 pace…. I couldn’t remember the last time I saw sub 4:15 pace! By the end of the first lap my lead was out to over 90 seconds. The second lap hurt a little more and I felt the uncomfortable pangs of a stitch as I headed out on the final lap…. This is when I really started to hurt. My stitch, my legs, my blisters on my feet and yet masochistically I was loving every second of it. I knew I had it but I was still trying to push as hard as I could to the line. It was such a personal achievement to cross that line regardless of the time and place; another enormous win over cancer. To make it even better, mum was there and over the moon for me. I was absolutely spent & realised that this distance was probably my current limit in fitness, strength and endurance but it didn’t matter. The wonderful thing is that I realised how much I miss racing and how much I do love triathlon, the people and what your mind can make your body go through even when it’s screaming for you to give up.

It wasn’t a world championship, it wasn’t a 70.3 and it wasn’t a race that bears a lot of accolade but for me to race and win three days out for surgery to remove a malignant cancer is one of my greatest achievements to date. In addition; the messages of support, congratulations and best wishes post-race and in the lead up to tomorrow is the most important part of all. There are too many names to name but everything else aside, this is what spurs me on to kick this in the butt and come out the other side as a better person both physically, mentally and emotionally.

My number 1 fan and best friend- Mum 

So that’s the last two weeks in a nut shell. Tomorrow I will face head on (hopefully) one of the final steps towards full recovery. I still have my race schedule draft and a have entered a couple races already as I am determined to recovery quickly and be back on a start line ASAP.

Rachie xo

Come what may

14th January 2014

As one year ends and another begins, it’s a time to reflect on what has come to pass. Rather than gauge 2013’s success with race placings, podiums and money made it has been gauged by discovering the worth of health, people and the pricelessness of being able to get out of bed, use my arms, speak with my normal voice, being able to have the choice to swim, bike and run and to be able do my work as a Physio.

This is not going to be an ‘I’m so thankful’ blog because I’d be lying if I said 2013 hasn't been the worst year of my life. Honestly it’s been horrible. It took me 4.5 months to realise that I was sick. Even now I have days where the emotional backlash hits me like a tonne of bricks and I’m a blubbering mess. There are days where I’m so angry and irritable that I feel like I will scream at anyone that speaks to me….not so good when talking to people is imperative in my job. This is where I really struggle, listening to people talk about their problems- fine at work, I’m paid to do it, but outside that I really don’t need to hear about people’s coughs, colds and self-inflicted vitamin deficiencies. I had this unrealistic idea that I’d have to slow up a bit for a couple of month and then be back to training and life as per normal by Christmas. Oh how wrong I was.

The past few months have been a blur of working, appointments, blood tests & treatment balanced out with trying to forget everything by having  a social life and doing some small capacity of training. For the first couple of months every blood test, scan, doctor’s appointment or memory of what had happened would trigger the elephant to sit on my chest: anxiety. Honestly, I used to think anxiety was a myth until I thought I was developing a heart condition and woke up to realise exactly what it was. Once again, I think that time heals, as does the physical release of exercise and thankfully my poor friends who've been so supportive and patient with me venting my angst with this process.

I spent a few days in Royal Brisbane Hospital at the end of October for my radio-active iodine treatment. Post-surgery my blood tests were still showing a high level of thyroglobulin which means there are still thyroid cells left…. potentially cancer cells. The thyroid absorbs iodine, so to kill off the remaining cells a small capsule of radio-active iodine is administered. This however, left me radio-active for a few days and dangerous to the general public, so they kept me in isolation for 48 hours. It was quite an anti-climax. There was no development of super powers and I didn't pee green. I got to catch up on my trashy English reality TV show ‘Made in Chelsea’ (don’t judge me!) and the ward was kind enough to supply an exercise bike for me to do a few spins on to pass the hours. More scans after the 2 days which showed some areas still lightening up in the neck region which is expected, as even if it’s not cancer, the surgeon can’t remove all thyroid tissue during the operation.

After my stay I had a week off work as they suggested not to spend prolonged periods of time in close proximity of others. I watched Noosa triathlon and for the first time felt pangs of jealously not to be out there. I started to bump up what training I had been doing to 20 hours a week but soon realised that at that point it was so much more than I was capable of coping with. I got sick. Sick for weeks.

I am still having ongoing Calcium issues as my re-implanted parathyroid glad hasn't’t kicked in yet. This means supplementation twice a day. Every time I try to wean off my calcium medications the levels drop quite significantly but thankfully I am still yet to experience any major symptoms. I’m off to see my specialist that deals with this in a couple of days as he assures me he has a plan.

The radio-active iodine can have ongoing effect for the next few months at killing off what’s left in my body, then hopefully when I go back for review in February my thyroglobulin level (cancer marker) will be down to zero…. Which means I will have kicked cancer’s arse. I try to think that this is exactly what will happen but everything around this has been so unpredictable I am preparing myself for the alternative. In saying that, it might just mean a few more days in isolation and another pill- that I can handle.

I can’t see much point in committing to a full load of training until I have a ticket of remission or even better am cured. I have managed to ramp up some training again after being quite ill during November/ early December. Thankfully this time my immune system seems to be holding up. So there are no immediate plans to return to racing; at the earliest, middle of the year. It’s getting harder and harder to stand on the sidelines which I think is a great sign that I still have the drive and desire to get back out there myself.

I think not really accepting how bad things were has helped me get on with my life. Ignorance is bliss. My surgeon shared with me some photos from my surgery at my 6 weeks review. Seeing one of the tumours she removed (the 10cm mass) was potentially the first time I realised just how bad it was. I refuse to become a victim as I can’t see myself in that category.  Once again, my incredible support system of friends and family keep me distracted and grounded as everyone is fighting their own battles.

Fingers crossed 2014 will be a huge improvement on 2013.

Rachie xox